If you’re not getting married after 2 years, dump his ass

A man knows within 90 days of the beginning of a relationship EXACTLY where the relationship will go. He has it already planned out. He knows if you’re his wife, he knows if you’re his ‘stringer girl’, he knows if you’re one of his side plates, etc etc. He has even picked out the reason for dumping you (men will choose a woman with a flaw…just to use that flaw later on in the relationship as an escape route…make no mistake…they chose you precisely for this flaw so they wouldn’t have to commit.)

If he hasn’t mentioned marriage within 90 days of the first date…RUN.

My Dad proposed to my Mom after 3 months. She refused, broke up with him, and ran off to Germany. He waited until she got back, then married her.

When a man wants to marry you, he will marry you.

After the second date, Nick would regularly plan out his wedding speech based upon our silly email conversations. I figured since he had the wedding speech written by our 4th date, there was going to be a wedding.

They always know.

If a man says ‘Ha! I’m never getting married!’ Then you simply walk away and leave him to his life of pathetic loneliness. And laugh 🙂 Always laugh 🙂

There’s a few ‘Black Swan’ exceptions to this rule—Autistic dudes…but even the exceptions to this Rule can EASILY be dragged to the alter. You just have to tell them ‘We’re getting married’ and then it’s fine.

I’ve heard stories…mythical stories…of men who live with women for years upon end and have kids and live like married couples without being actually married.

Well…I say these stories are ‘Mythical’ because I’ve known some of these couples:

Couple A: was actually married, before the kids, before two years a dating, they just didn’t tell anyone. Why? I don’t know. Well they told me so, I guess a lot of people knew. But if you asked her on the street she would say ‘No, we’re not married.’

Couple B: Man was cheating on his wife/girlfriend/whatever, and they essentially had an open-marriage. 3 Kids, totally cheating. I’m not sure she knew…but my hunch was that she does know and is totally cool with it.

Couple C: Old Hippy couple, both not particularly attractive. And this leads to my one and only Exception to the Rule:

The only time you can stay years and years with a guy and have kids with him and pretend to be married without being married…is if….*drumroll*

He’s not attractive enough to get anyone else.

That is the only time I’ve seen those relationships work. If the couple is just not that physically attractive…then they tend to stick together because…What other options do they have? No one else is going to fuck them!

But I think we all have higher aspirations than that. So get married.