I’ll never be able to compete with alcoholics

As an ex-sketch comedy writer and improv performer, I always feel like I need to make people laugh. Writing comedy and being a funny person are two different things.

The other day I found an instagram account where the owner of said account is super fun and happy. This instagrammer is a ray of light in a world of darkness to me. I love them. But I began to feel bad about myself. Why am I not as fun to be around? Why am I not as carefree?

It was my husband who pointed out the obvious. Alcohol. After a few days I realized, the instagrammer was pretty much sloshed every other day, and somewhat tipsy at least once a day.

I don’t know what I think about that. It’s like Scott Adams and marijuana.

I think I’d rather be a mediocrity then drink or do drugs. And I mean that. I’d rather be a mediocrity then use a substance to push myself. There’s something sad yet more honest in that life, but I value living honestly more than anything.