The Daily Rudeness

(Satire) Breaking News: Covid-19 vaccines are sentient and know your age

Denmark and Sweden have placed a halt upon Moderna vaccines for anyone born after 1991. Those born in 1990 or earlier, may wonder “But if the vaccine is causing myocarditis in people under 30…why isn’t it causing myocarditis in people who are 30 + 1 day? How does the vaccine know that I’m one day over 30?” Experts agree that the vaccine is sentient with a genius IQ and possibly even a God, so of course the vaccine would be aware of a a person’s biological age, and not induce heart problems in the over 30s.